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              <text>Lagrange Tennessee Sunday April 26th 1863&#13;
Dear Jane.&#13;
I take this opportunity to write you a few lines to let you know that I am well. I received yours of the 18th inst on the 25th which was yesterday. I was very uneasy about George, after hearing that he was kicked in such a dangerous place, and glad to hear that he is doing so well. Now dear Jane I know that is very disheartening to be placed in the condition that we are, and I am almost ready to give up myself at time and put over some very gloomy days.  The great difficulties that I had in my official Business at home and the bad Step that I took when I enlisted in Lincoln crusade has nigh run me mad, and I often feel as if I had no friends in the world, and if it was not for the sake of keeping character spotless from shame and disgrace, I would have been at home long before this time.&#13;
I wrote to you on the inst about sending them things to me, but if you have not started them by the time you get this you need not send them. I will try to get a long someway until I get home. I can draw some cotton flannel drawers at 95 cts a pair but I thought that they would be a little too warm this summer, but I can take them off in the day time and put them on at night to sleep in — my shirts are tolerable good and will do a good while yet. I approve of the course you did with the boots in getting the boys shoes for them for them.&#13;
One half of our Regiment had started on a tramp. They have returned. A sorry looking bunch they were having marched eight days and laid out every night in the open. There were four regiments commanded by Genl [William Sooy] Smith. The officers looked as bad if not worse than the privates. It proved to be one of those great foraging parties. They captured or rather took from the farmers along the line of the country that they passed over about 400 head of horses and mules, about 75 wagons, and lots of good ham. That is what I call public plunder, but such is the policy of all wars in all countries.&#13;
Well now for that plain talk you spoke about. You say that you have paid on the house and lot, and that you have redeemed from under [Luke] Elliott’s Sale, very well, you did right…. If I ever got able to pay him off I would get him to give me a tax title deed in your name so as to cut off that lien that I gave my Securities, but I approve of what you have done. I can’t blame you for looking into these things.&#13;
Dear Jane if I have been the cause of you losing your hair, I do most sincerely ask your pardon and forgiveness and pray God to forgive me for any and every error that I may have committed against you either in word or deed, and hereafter will try to so conduct my future course so as not to any offense, but will be perfectly mind and content with my fate. It is true my hair is not falling off my head very fast yet, but my brains are almost racked to death about the care [of] home, and if I could only get home so as to arrange and settle up my business, I would be willing to abide the will of the all wise maker, of all things.&#13;
I wrote to you some time ago and told you about Waggoner paying the Taxes on the farm. He paid on it one year with money that he collected of some place. Waggoner’s Regiment is not here. They are at Jackson and I understand that Waggoner is there. I will write to him and try and have the matter fixed up. I wrote to you to pay the Taxes on the farm again. I have a right to pay the Taxes on all my land, no difference who pay before I do. If the Taxes are not paid on the stump quarter I will lose it entirely but if I do I will have to let it go. I don’t own any lots in Phelps’s addition except I bought them for the Taxes and I do not recollect now. Don’t pay on any lots but on [the] Hasson lot unless Worley will assign them receipts to you and in that case pay him the Taxes on them. I bought that lot across the street that Bill Messplay was going to build his shop on and paid fifteen dollars on it.&#13;
Well you spoke of trying to raise some colts. You may breed both mares to any good horse. I think that a big horse is the best. Use your own Judgment in the matter. I think that I can get out of this cursed war sometime this summer, and try to get back home again, and go on the farm and try to make a living for you and the children by honest toil. I hope you will have plenty of good peaches and apples this summer and I will try to get home to help take care of them.&#13;
Dear Jane I am very sorry that you had the misfortune to broke [break] off one of your fore teeth. Can you get another put in in Lewistown? I have had two pulled out since come down here on the right side of my Jaw, and I will have to have one pulled out on the left some of my jaw, soon. &#13;
I remain your affectionate and absent Husband, From William M. Standard to Jane his wife and children at Home.&#13;
P.S. We are looking for a paymaster here and will probably get some more pay. I will live as saving as possible, though the fare be poor. Fat sow belly is a little too strong for a weak stomach to take [in] this hot weather. I eat but a very little of it.&#13;
The paper that I sent you I sent for you to read if you wanted to for pas[sing the] time. You said at one time you would like to have a paper to read for the news but that the editors stopped my papers as soon as I went to the war.&#13;
Your Husband WM Standard to Jane Standard his wife &amp; children&#13;
&#13;
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              <text>Camp Jackson Tennessee February 8th 1863&#13;
Affectionate wife and children,&#13;
I seat myself down to the desk to write you another letter to let you know that I am still well as usual. I have got over my toothache minus a tooth, and I hope that this letter may find you enjoying the best of health, and doing well too. We are still in Camp Reed near Jackson Tenn. but do not know how long we will stay here. I am tired of this place and hope we will be ordered away soon. There is nothing here that will interest anyone to enliven or keep one’s spirits up. Everything drags along as if the world had stopped moving and stood still. Nothing arouses us but the tap of the drum. We are drummed out of the bed in the morning then drummed to breakfast then to dinner, then drummed to battalion drill, then drummed to dress parade, then drummed [to] supper, then to bed again. In fact we despise the sound of a drum. It has become disgusting to hear the sound of a drum. &#13;
Again [I] am most hastily tired of looking around me and seeing no one but soldiers dressed in Lincoln’s clothes &amp; Lincoln caps, go where you will. Go when you will there [are] none but the Lincoln hireling. Some talk polite, some pray, but most are as wicked as the bad one [Satan, who] would be willing to receive them, and I do believe the present administration at Washington is doing more [to] make men wicked than all classes of infidels put together. For they might [do not] take some steps to have this monstrous war brought to a close.&#13;
I think they must stop soon for want of money. The greenbacks now are only worth forty cents on the dollar in gold, and I guess that it won’t be long before the people won’t take them at all and then the war must close. If the common soldier take the greenbacks as what they are worth in gold he then only get about six dollars a month for his labor and if the government don’t do something more to make good the pay of the soldier their families must Suffer and that they will not bear. There is great dissatisfaction at this time about pay. We are all strap[ped] and one cannot say to another [“]you’re stra[p]ped[”] without being insulted in the same way. &#13;
It is very muddy here today. The snow is melted off that fall last week and that makes mud. We had some cold weather last week that made me think of old Fulton in Illinois. &#13;
This is Sunday night and I am all alone in my tent writing this letter to my kind wife and beautiful children and I know that they are thinking about me away down here in an enemy’s land, subject to all the hardships that the soldier is exposed to. Don’t fret on my account. I will do the best I can to take care of my health, and if there should be some gray hairs among my whiskers you need not envy them. They will be honorable hairs to me, and I want to wear them home to show you how I keep my face dressed down here in Tennessee. I would be glad to be at home tonight &amp; talk to you all night and tell you how we get along and what we do and what we see and it would take a man a lifetime to tell all that he hears in the army, about fighting, about peace, about everything that you could think of good and bad. &#13;
I wrote to you about trying to get to come home, and wanted you to advise me what you thought best to do. It may be that they stopped the letter as they have stopped the circulation of the democratic paper among the army. But I will tell you the truth and that is that I am going to get out of this scrape if possible, but prefer honorable to dishonorable means. If I can get out honorable then I could come home with a good face on but if a man should be forced to run off from the army then he would have to go where he was not known, to avoid the law. I can’t stay three years.&#13;
If we get our pay you may look out for some greenbacks.&#13;
Soon I suppose the colonel will be well enough to send someone home so that the men may send money to their families. But who I do not know. &#13;
Mr. Rice that lives east of Lewistown is down here after his boy that is very sick. He has been in the general Hospital and is very low at this time. Rice moved him to a private house, to [a] Mr. Taylor’s. They are secesh, and clever people. Rice is going to start home in the morning and I want to send this by him. I shall have to go downtown in the morning to see him before he leaves. You must write often to me, and especially if any of you get sick. &#13;
Tell me what you hear about the soldier[s] that are deserting, if they are sending them back to the army, if there is any talk of war at home, for we hear all kinds of stories down here and I would like to know how it is.&#13;
Well has the children wrote me that letter yet? I would be glad to see it with their names all to it. Goodbye hoping to get a letter soon. I am your Husband and father. Wm Standard to his wife and children.&#13;
Feb 9th ’63. I am still well today. Went to bed at 11 o’clock. Slept until this morning. Sergeant Cole’s wife wrote to him saying there is no letters coming to Lewistown from the 103rd Regiment. How is it? Do you hear of such reports? She says that the people there don’t know where we are, nor what we are doing. They seem to think we are all prisoners or gone up the spirit in some way. But you see we are safe and sound in Camp Reed, at Jackson Tenn, your old native State. It would have been a beautiful thing to have visited this country before the breaking out of this war. There is some of the most splendid residences that art or ingenuity can devise, but many of them are entirely ruined by the effects of this war, and it is enough to make anyone look with disgust on any man or set of men that are willing to carry on a war for the purpose of laying waste to a country as finely people as this, causing brother to war against brother, shedding each other blood, and taking each other lives. A man that is opposed to a compromise of this war ought to be held up to society as a villain of the deepest dye. But I hope for the better. I think that the majority of the army are determined to have this matter settled by the first day of April at the furthest. The great cry now seems to be the taking of Vicksburg. If we are successful there then there is some hope. But I don’t believe that we can take the place. I expect that the 103rd will be ordered there. I hope not, for that is a hard place. If we should, don’t be uneasy. I will take care of myself to the best of advantages that I can get; there is always two ends to a string.&#13;
We have dismissed all of the niggers in our company long ago and Reeves is doing our cooking for us (that is for the captain, Willison, myself and Reeves compose our mess). We pay him seven dollars a month to cook for us. I pay one dollar of that only. Reeves and I draw our rations and the captain and Willison have to buy theirs. We all eat together. We have full rations at this time but it is old bread and meat such as it is. We get no vegetables of any kind just bread and meat and meat and bread washed down with coffee three times a day. Plenty of sugar, no cream. Butter is worth fifty cents per pound down here, coffee sixty cents. Salt none to be had only as the army is supplied with it. The citizens have to pay a high price. I don’t know how much. Calico and all kinds of clothing are very high and factory none to be had at any price. Boots from ten to forty dollars a pair. So you see it costs something to live down here. Private boarding five dollars a week. Board at hotels ten dollars a week. Single meals fifty cents.&#13;
Dear Jane the mail has just come and with it comes you[r] kind letter that you commenced on the 1st day of February 1863 and I read it with the greatest of Pleasure. I was glad that your pap was good enough to come and see you and that your mother brought you some butter. I know you needed it. It seem strange that letters go so unregularly from here home, or from home here. &#13;
You think that if you were here that you would manage to be taken prisoner and then be paroled and come home but suppose there was no chance to be taken prisoner; then you could not be paroled or be so [ex]changed. If we ever got into a tight place I will skedaddle in the right way to be getting home. I would hate to be taken prisoner in a battle for fear [it] must be too long before they would prisoner exchange me. The best way seems to be to get into the country and fall in to the hands of the guerrilla parties and they will parole a person out. The trouble is they rob a man of all he had and then let him go but I think if I ever undertake it I will make it pay. The great trouble is to get through our own picket lines without being taken by them and brought back inside our own lines. But if I ever get outside of the lines they will never be able nor sharp enough to catch me if I should die in the attempt. I know that it is hard for you to do so much of our business. That makes me cry but it won’t hurt me to shed tears of affection for being absent from such a kind family. I will send you the last dollar that I get from the government for my pay to help you along till I get home to help you provide a living for my family.&#13;
 I think there is some mistake about the taxes. It must be that 14 dollars and 80 cents is all that is due on the house and lot and personal property included.&#13;
Get Mr Worley to see if there is not some mistake about the taxes. I wrote to you about the note you gave Johnson. You better get it back from him. I will see [Samuel] Tipton and find out if a mortgage given here will be of any use up there but I think it will not. I will make out a bill of sale for him and sign it and he can let you keep possession of it if he wants to. I will tend to it right away. I will make every effort in my power to get home. I am truly sorry that I was so fool hearty as not to take your kind advice and stay at home and run my chances of the draft. I see that the abolition [C]ongress is going to pass a conscript law and they will not have an able bodied man at home in the North. Their policy seems to be to take all the white men and kill them off for the sake of freeing a few niggers. I don’t feel much like fighting to free niggers at the expense of my life. There is now confined in hospitals of General Grant army about six Thousand men that are sick and wounded. Don’t that astound you? But such are the effects of War. I would as soon be dead as to be confined in one of these Hospitals. They don’t give a man as much attention as you would pen, our little dog and when he dies a nigger buries him.&#13;
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              <text>Florence Alabama Friday 30th October 1863&#13;
We reached here last night and camped west part of the city. I was nearly tired to death, not being very well. It was hard work with me to march. We marched 17 miles yesterday. Many gave out by the wayside. It rained here last night and it is cloudy here this morning. &#13;
Well Jane while I was at Iuka I made an application to the doctor for a discharge. He consulted with the head medical director and they told me there is no chance to be discharged at this time. But the doctor gave me some encouragement that I can get out as soon as we get settled for winter quarters. I gave as a reason that I had served my country for a year, and I had lost my health in that time and having a broken shoulder before I entered the army, thereby rendering me unable to carry my gun and cartridge box so as to disable me for the service any longer. The doctor said my reasons were a good one, but that it was not a good time to make an application for a discharge. Enough of that.&#13;
Well Jane this is a splendid nice country down here. We passed by some of the nicest country that I ever seen, and this is a nice town, about as large as Canton. I want you to find out where your old aunt lives down here in Alabama and let me know where they live, and what all their names are. I may meet with some of them. I would be glad to see some one of your folks down here. We can’t be very far from them. Your mother told me where they live but I have forgotten. &#13;
October 31st 63 Mustered for pay today. Strained hard.&#13;
You said in one of your letters that you was glad that I had come to the conclusion not to desert. Well Jane I don’t know what to do but one thing I do know[:] if I was at home on  furlough they would never get me again if I could raise means enough to get off with. I do not say this to dishearten you. I would rather be banished from my native country than to be ruled over by a set of tyrants that never had anything until they got into the army and got a little office. I don’t believe that we can ever conquer the South, and therefore I don’t want to fight them. I intend to get home in some way between this and next spring, certain that I am bound to do anything. Even death at home is preferable to slavery here in the army, where a man has no chance to redress his wrong abuses. &#13;
Nov. 1 63 I am not very well today but am going about. Am still on duty, but if I don’t feel better tomorrow will have to go to the doctor to be excused from duty so as to not have to work making fortifications. &#13;
Well Jane there has been several deaths in the regiment[,] among whom was Benjamin Gardner, Uncle Ben you know they called him. He died at Memphis since we left there of inflammation of the bowels. &#13;
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              <text>Camp Reed Jackson Tennessee March 9 1863&#13;
Dear Jane&#13;
I am truly sorry that I can’t send you some money to help you pay for little Hattie’s tombstones, but it is impossible for me to do it at this time. I thought they would have been nice ones for the price he charged for them. Put the stones in a good secure place where they will not get broke and I will help to set them up when I come home. I want it done in good style and made durable as that seems to be the last respect our own well beloved little Hattie. Thanks be to the God of mercy her little spirit rests in peace. Let us so live as to meet her in the heaven of bliss. &#13;
Dear Jane I have written so often to you about trying to get home. It is a little dangerous for anyone to go out of the line to get a parole, for they run the risk of being shot while running by the pickets to get to the country, and then again Gen. Grant has issued an order that any soldier who straggles off outside the lines shall be treated as a deserter and treated as such which penalty is death. Captain Hull of the 17th Regiment is on the lookout for the two Hill boys and Burt Lewis too; they are all deserters and run off to keep from going down to Vicksburg.  I won’t never desert. I don’t want anyone to have the privilege of casting into the face of my children that their father was a deserter. I do want to get home but I want to come honorable, so that I can have it said that I done my duty to myself and family, my country and my God.&#13;
&#13;
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              <text>Camp Sherman Black River Mississippi September 15th 1863&#13;
Dear Jane&#13;
I have the blues badly since I left home this time. The first leaving was nothing compared to the second. We had the good, or bad, luck to get stuck on every sandbar on the Mississippi River.&#13;
Nothing will ever erase from my mind the sad time upon parting from you and the children on that morning of the 2nd of September 1863.&#13;
Dear Jane I am glad that I succeeded in securing to you and the children a homestead on which you can live without being molested by anyone. My great desire is to pay off your pap and to get rid of that big debt. I don’t see how we can pay him unless we sell the farm for the money. But dear wife you must use your own judgment in what you think best in the matter. If there is any chance to sell the place I think it would be best to do so soon before there is much interest due on the note that I gave your pap. I think you are a far better manager than I am and I am willing to be governed by your judgment.&#13;
Jane sometimes I think you thought I wanted to come back here in the place of remaining with my family but you know that there was no possible way to remain at home without being arrested and after your pap was so kind in helping me secure you a homestead I would sooner die than to have him in a condition to pay that debt by my desertion. But if that debt was satisfied I would soon have a ticket for California and you and the children could join me somewhere on the road and that is the reason why I am so anxious to have the matter settled.&#13;
I am really heartsick of this ungodly war. My mind is made up not to stay here very long. You must not think very strange of what I say. I tell you that I can’t stay here with a clear conscience. I think it is a crime of the deepest dye to be engaged in the shedding of the blood of our fellow men and I am bound not to do it if it is possible not to do it and I can.&#13;
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              <text>[Camp] Reed Jackson, Tennessee February 1st 1863 &#13;
Affectionate Wife and children&#13;
I wrote a letter to you one day last week and told you that I would write again today. This is Sunday night. I am very anxious to get home but the trouble is how can that be done? Furloughs are played out. There is no chance to get one and the doctor will not discharge a man until after he is dead or nearly so and as long as I have good health there seems to be no chance for a discharge.&#13;
I will tell you what I can do. I want to get my money before leaving or making an effort to get home. It is more honorable to desert than to stay in this abolition war to free the niggers and enslave the white man. Write to me what you are willing for me to do. You said that you did not care for the property. If you could only be with me could we take a new start somewhere else? I think that would hardly do. Tell me in plain words shall I make the Trial? I would run the risk of my life willingly to get to you and the children and stay with you. I see but little signs of this war being ended. I think that a portion of the North are trying to arrange so as to go with the South and that will make the war last longer and we will have a war between the East and the West but I hope not. War is the worst curse that any People was ever cursed with.&#13;
Dear Jane I will stop writing. This is a bad pen and I can’t see the lines and I will have to do my writing in the day time after this. Tell the children to be good children and help you do all the chores and learn all they can until Pap comes home.&#13;
Good Bye From your absent Husband&#13;
WM Standard To his Affectionate Wife and children&#13;
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